Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Touching Lyrics

Here's a song entitled "Beauty From Ashes" by Crystal Lewis that is so fitting for where I am spiritually:

He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair

When sorrow seems to surround you
When suffering hangs heavy over your head
Know that tomorrow brings
Wholeness and healing
God knows your need
Just believe what He said

He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair

When what you've done keeps you from moving on
When fear wants to make itself at home in your heart
Know that forgiveness brings
Wholeness and healing
God knows your need
Just believe what He said

He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair

I once was lost but God has found me
Though I was bound Ive been set free
Ive been made righteous in His sight
A display of His splendor all can see

He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair

I think one of the ways Satan keeps me down/keeps me from moving forward in my walk is by constantly bringing back up all my past failures. It's not that I don't think God can forgive me of my sins, but where I find myself struggling is with the thought that I've ruined my family, that we won't recover, that my children with have emotional scars or bad memories of their mom blowing up. As I write this, it sounds silly. Come on... they're all under the age of 3. What could they possibly remember by the time they're adults?! But it's a real fear. One thing that gives me comfort is that God is a God of healing, of second chances, of restoration. He thrives on bringing dead and broken things to life. The house that I've built, I have torn down with my own hands (like the foolish woman portrayed in Proverbs). But I know God can make beauty from ashes. He will rebuild what I have torn apart these past 5 years and will rebuild an even more beautiful, fruitful, blessed, prosperous home than I could ever fathom.
I've repented of my anger. I'm forgiven for fighting God's plan for my life. All the angry, hurtful, biting words and actions I've ever committed are laying at the feet of Jesus. I want to change. I no longer want to fight God and His will for my life. I am completely surrendered. And that's exactly where God wanted me all along. Now, God can finally come in build up a godly foundation & home.
Oh, to see what God will do in, with, and through our family.

No comments: