Monday, July 13, 2009
It amazes me how God qualifies the called... not calls the qualified. Take for instance the job of motherhood. When I joined the ranks I was NOT qualified:
1) I didn't know how to manage a home.
2) I didn't know what it meant to be a biblical wife (none what a mom).
3) I didn't know how to cook.
4) I didn't know how to sew.
5) I did not like noise, commotion, chaos, changes of plans.
6) I needed large amounts of alone time.
7) I was terribly lacking in confidence and boldness.
8) I had huge trust issue with God.
9) I was extremely impatient.
10) I was very selfish of my time, money, energy, and body.
That's just to name a few personality quirks (sin issues?) that described me at the onset of my mothering journey. A very rough lump of clay, if you will. Through all the difficulties, trials, hardships, unknowns, and pain... I have chosen to obey the Lord. And nearly 7 years later, I cannot even begin to explain how God has stretched me, changed me, tried me... and blessed me. I cannot say it enough, but I personally believe a huge part of the "blessing" that children are called in Scripture is the "blessing" of our sanctification. For so many years I tried running from the trials. I wanted the comfy, easy life. But God called me to something bigger and deeper. I was called... but not qualified. Over the years, He has made me qualified. I am SOOO far from perfect. But I cannot even describe the metamorphosis that has taken place in the last 7 years. Can't wait to see what the Lord's got in store for the rest of this journey.
Oftentimes the thing we work the hardest at is the thing we appreciate the most.
I did NOT enjoy being a parent right away. It has literally taken me YEARS to see the beauty, joy, and blessing that children really are. A lot of that required me dying to self and obeying the Lord step by step, day by day. Now, I LOVE being a mommy. Now, I walk with pride and joy through the town with my little "ducks in a row" following alongside. Now, I can honestly respond to the comments "are all these yours?!!!" "how can you handle it?" "you know what causes these?" "boy, you have your hands full!" with confidence: Children are a blessing. I love them. And I wouldn't want to ever be doing anything else! Yes, my hands are full but I LOVE it!