Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I thought it'd be different...

I'm in a "funk" right now. Have been now for almost two weeks straight. Perhaps it should be entitled "motherhood funk". It's just SO HARD right now for some reason. Can't completely blame it on pregnancy because I'm feeling pretty good physically. Perhaps lack of sunlight (winter and basement apartment living)... but I've been diligently taking my vitamin D. I dunno what it is. To boot, the kids are going through a terrible disobedience/dishonoring phase. Mostly Benjamin and Cassandra. It is wearing me super duper thin. It's not too bad when it's just one child, or when they take turns. But this is a constant, all day, let's gang up on mommy sort of thing. I don't think they're purposing in their hearts to be naughty and evil. They are just wreaking in foolishness and I can't seem to pull them out of it. Nothing seems to work. The two of them right now are a full time job! Unfortunately, I have a husband, home, and 2-1/2 other children to care for right now (plus myself). I REALLY don't want to be complaining. Just hoping for some prayer or something. This momma's tired and stretched to the limit. Maybe I should look into getting a babysitter for a day so I can get a break and have some alone time... which I haven't done in AGES now that I think about it. Sigh...

2 comments:

Michelle M. said...

I've been having a hard week, too. I am not the type of person to feel depressed, but I really did yesterday afternoon. I had to go up to Nathaniel's office and ask for a hug. I think parenting is a hard gig because it is so unpredictable. Some days are incredible and others are really tough. Make sure you are taking care of yourself and getting enough sleep. Dealing with ornery children when you are exhausted is a bad combination. I feel bad for my older children because I have been sleep deprived for so many months that I just haven't had the patience I should. I am hoping that now that Gregory is sleeping more at night, I will be able to get back to my normal self again. I love being home with my children and I wouldn't have it any other way, but I can understand how you are feeling because I feel that way sometimes too.

You're a great mom. Don't let yourself forget that!

wifeandmom said...

Oh I so feel what you are going through. I am new to your blog. Found you from Candy's site. I am in a similar season as you and do sometimes have a young teenage girl from our church come and play with the kids while I get some housework done. Though that is not exactly relaxing, it feels good to get something done while the kids are gainfully occupied and not getting into too much trouble while I clean. Just a thought for you. Hope things go on an upward slope for you soon. Take care!