Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Miscellaneous

Exercise Check-In:
Week 4
Total Calories Burned: 332.3
Total Time Exercising: 74:00
Total Weight Gain: 22 pounds (eek!)

Bumped it up to Medium Impact yesterday because the Low wasn't even making me break a sweat after a while. Definite difference between Low and Medium! And I'm definitely feeling it! I feel great! Completed my 30 Day Challenge today. Going to take a rest day tomorrow and start another 30 Day Challenge on the Medium level on Thursday.

Need to increase my water intake.
Need to decrease my portion size. *sheepish grin*
(I keep forgetting that I only need 300 extra calories/day.)

MMM:
I've failed for this month. There is NO WAY I can catch up now. *sigh* I've been diligently reading God's word and having regular devotions. Been memorizing all the kids' AWANA verses, too. But I just didn't give what it takes to memorize Ps. 139. :-(
Perhaps I can use the month of February instead.

Menu Planning:
These were the Pizza Quesadillas from this week's menu.
SOOOO simple to make and the kids devoured them!!!




We served it with black olives and pizza sauce.
Pregnancy Stats:
I am 27 weeks and 5 days pregnant.
In two days, I will have officially entered into the third trimester! Yea!
Baby weighs approximately 2-1/4 lbs. and is approximately 15 inches from head to heels.

Here's a belly shot!
Blah Month of Mothering:
Like I said, I don't think my circumstances have changed much, but my attitude is slooooowly changing. This morning I read a most timely e-devotional from Above Rubies. It's about taking the "easy way" of life as compared to following closely with the Lord and possibly having to walk a difficult path in life. Fantastic read if you've got a few minutes.

I keep waiting for a motherly feeling to overtake me when what I really should be doing is just being obedient... and realizing that motherhood is NOT ABOUT ME and what I get from it. I've been so caught up lately in the "what's in this for me? where's the blessing in all this?"... aka: selfishness. And it's been making me (and probably everyone in my house) miserable. I mother because it's what God has called me to do. It's not a feeling. It's a commitment.

Marriage is much the same way. You make a commitment to stick it out with another person through thick and through thin. Feelings wax and wane through time and circumstances. You don't just walk away because your needs aren't being met or because you no longer feel in love with this person. You stay committed no matter what. Sometimes love IS mere obedience and duty. But if done to glorify God, than it is pleasing to Him.

I don't feel all ooey-gooey inside when I think of babies and children. Nor do I feel that some sort of deep inner longing in life has finally been fulfilled because I bore children. I almost hate to admit it, but right now, I am mothering out of sheer obedience- my feelings are all over the chart in regard to children right now. I rest in the knowledge that this is God's plan, will and calling for me in life. It is what's best. It's definitely not the "easy way", that's for sure!

Realizing that motherhood is not about me and it's not based on feelings has been a truly freeing thing for me. It doesn't change my circumstances, but it's changing my heart and attitude. And hopefully, with continued obedience and commitment, the motherly feelings will come with time...

3 comments:

Cyndi said...

Hmmm... you made them one at a time on the stove?? You should have used your griddle! Do 3 at a time! :)

Michelle M. said...

I've been having the same kind of month. I have these wonderful moments with the children and then I turn into the terrible, yelling mama. It has been a frustrating month for me. Grace seems to have hit the "terrible twos", which David skipped :) He had the "terrible threes". Grace has just been pushing everyone's buttons and waking up in teh middle of the night wanting to play. Argh! Nathaniel, G, and I are leaving for four days this weekend. I am so blessed to get this break because I really need it- I never even leave my house anymore.

Cn8dnchick said...

What is the 30 day challenge you're doing? Whatever it is, Bravo for your commitment! Thanks for sharing your frustrations and being honest, you seem like you're the perfect mom with the perfect kids, but I'm sure that it doesn't always feel that way to you! lol Hang in there! *hugs*