Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Tomato Staking

Day 3

I think the kids are adjusting quicker than I am! Through this process, I am realizing full force that I have embraced some just terrible mothering habits... like raising my voice/yelling... even though I'm not even mad. :-/ BAD habit. So basically, I've come to realize that my children have been trained to only respond and obey when mom's voice has reached a certain decibel and heightened tone. *sigh* BUT, I'm catching myself, which is all part of the learning process.

Spankings have gone down dramatically. Basically, the only thing that warrants a spank is outright defiance and disobedience. Everything else falls under the category of training and teaching. Now, if a child gets overwhelmed during a training series or is visibly shutting down, I will have them stand face to the wall until they calm down. Then we try again until they are obeying quickly and fully and happily. As soon as they are obeying, I have them reenact the situation a couple times in order to solidify the teaching. To them, it's almost like a game!


1) dinner table etiquette. EVERYone wants to talk... which is fine. But they all want to do it at the same time. Which is chaos. Especially when RD and I are trying to converse and end up having to shout just to be heard over the children. So, we've enacted one simple rule: raise your hand and wait to be called on to talk. It has helped SOOOOO much! But, it's hard for everyone to remember that rule because we're so used to just talking whenever we feel like it.

2) having Cassandra and Edmund by my side 100% of the time. They are soooo used to wandering about that as soon as I turn my head, they're off. Not in a "mom's not looking so let's disobey" sort of way, but just habit. Seems like I'm constantly having to wrangle them in. But Edmund's learning so well how to sit, stay, and come. He LOVES sitting on the counter "helping" me. He LOVES sitting on my lap during school. Cassandra's my "chair kid" because she's always up on a chair next to while I work in the kitchen. They both LOVE being by my side helping. It's just an adjustment to be doing it all the time.

3) as mentioned above, I have a yelling problem. Working on it!

4) Benjamin needs to "turn on his ears". Realized through all this that his problem isn't so much an obedience issue, it's a hearing issue. If he hears you clearly, he's almost always quick to obey. But if I say, "Benjamin, go make your bed.", all he hears is "Benjamin... bed..." He's never really sure what to do. So I've been trying to look him in the eye when I tell him to do things and then have him repeat back to me his instructions. It's helped A LOT!

5) the kids still go crazy silly when guests arrive. Doesn't even matter if they've seen the person a million times. Grandparents, close friends, the Schwan man... etc. THEY are the one's who greet and allow people in the house (which is MY place). They literally bombard visitors with the latest run down on their activities and accomplishments (which is terribly overwhelming for the visitor). Still working on this one. Tonight is our first "practice" session. We have some friends coming over for dinner. Going to make sure they are trained and ready before our guests arrive. And then during the week, perhaps we can practice by having "pretend" visitors and training sessions so they get the hang of it.

1 comment:

Cn8dnchick said...

Great advice! I'm glad that your weaknesses and strengths are being revealed through this! High five! :)