Wednesday, April 14, 2010
We are doing well, considering the circumstances. We have absolutely been showered with love, prayers, help, food, childcare, etc. We had no idea so many people cared! People have been literally coming out of the woodwork to help when and where they can. We were afraid people would be nervous talking and being with us because they wouldn't know what to say. WE don't even know what to say!!! It's just soooo incredibly healing to talk and be with people.
Physically, I am healing like any other delivery. We were concerned at first about infection but have been blessed with a quick recovery. My breasts are still very very tender as they are engorged with milk. But I've been drinking sage tea (bleh- it tastes like liquid pine needles) and wearing tight fitting bras. From what I've read and heard, I should dry up within the week. It'll be soooo nice when the physical reminders of what happened go away.
The preliminary autopsy revealed that Francesca was a completely healthy and normal baby. No genetic disorders. No cord problems. The doctor doing the autopsy said "this was an act of God". At first, I was SO angry! WHAT?!!! Our baby was fine?!!! How and why did she die then?!!! But we realized that if something had been wrong with her, we would have to get genetics testing and any future pregnancy would be terribly frightening as we'd wonder if this baby would die, too. We know we can get pregnant, sustain pregnancy, and have healthy children. This was ordained by God from eternity past to happen. She was HIS child!
RD and I have NO idea why this happened. But God in all His mercy and grace has shown us in more ways then we can count that this was providential. The timing of it all, the birth process itself, people being at the right time at the right place, etc. This was meant to happen. We have no doubt or question about that! Hopefully in the near future when I get a chance to put this all down into words, I'll share the many many many ways we have seen this as providence.
There is this amazing company that does photo restoration specifically for stillbirth or babies that die soon after birth. It's called Baby Angel Pics. It's a free service! The photos we have of her are... unpleasant. So we are simply thrilled to do this! Perhaps we may catch a glimpse of what she could or would have looked like...
We have decided to cremate her and keep the ashes. A Memorial Service for Francesca is scheduled for Saturday April 24 at 11am. For anyone interested in information about the service, in contributing to her Memorial Fund, or sending cards/flowers/gifts, please email me at: growthasawifeandmom(at)yahoo(dot)com.
We thank you for all the many prayers that you have been lifting up on our behalf. And we are soooo appreciative of the support and love you have shared.
Some things you can specifically be praying for are:
1- that RD and I don't mentally go off into left field thinking wrong thoughts about this situation. Pray that we remain grounded on the truth we know to be true: that our God is a good God and that He uses evil for good; that He has plans to prosper us and not to harm us.
2- for RD and I's marriage to remain strong, that this would in fact bring us closer as a couple to one another and to God.