It's been a little over 1-1/2 years since I've posted any content here. In fact, I even went so far as to make this blog "private" for a time so that people could no longer access this blogs' content.
This happened for a number of reasons, these being the biggest two:
1- I felt completely inadequate as a blogger IN COMPARISON TO OTHER BLOGGING WOMEN & MOMMIES. Like seriously, who would want to hear about my little life and the little things that were happening in it? I hardly have any readers. Who am I really influencing anyway? I'd read through other blogs and see the number of followers they had and all the cool content they posted: and immediately feel pathetic. My blog, in my mind, was nothing more than a mere shadow compared to them. What was the point of blogging anymore???
Praise the Lord I have matured in this area! Over time and with GROWTH, I began to realize a few things:
God created each person uniquely with different qualities, talents, likes and dislikes, tastes, abilities, etc. We shouldn't strive to be just like everyone else. Rather, we need to be who God created us to be. My blog will look and be different from others. Shoot, it may be downright simple and plain. But I need to be who I am, and I need to blog about whatever God lays on my heart, whether that be "cool" or ordinary. It's content will reach and affect whoever God wants it to. I should never never never compare myself with other women. My identity is not determined by the number of followers I have, the comments I receive, how neat of a person I am perceived to be... My identity comes from Christ alone. The reason I started this blog was to help women strive to be better wives and moms, to encourage them in their growth, to show the good and the bad in my own life so that others will know that being "in process" and not "being perfect" is part of Christian living. I wanted to "be real" so other women would be real. If my audience is 10 women, then so be it. Maybe those 10 women will be better, stronger, more grounded, and loving their Savior even more because of something I wrote. Great! My job has been accomplished.
2- I struggled with issues of privacy. How much is too much to share? Should people even know my name? Should I use aliases? Should I even post pics of my kids/family/home/etc? Should I lead a private life or an open book? Will sharing too much come back to bite me sometime?
To be honest, I'm still struggling with this. I'm still not sure where to draw the line.
So... I'm gonna just trust in my Savior about all this. He laid it on my heart to reopen this blog. So I think I can trust Him on what to share and what not to share.
So there you have it.
Now you know why I disappeared for over a year and half.
But I'm back!
Some updates on my life since October 25, 2011:
- three months after losing Francesca Rose April 9, 2010, the Lord blessed us with another pregnancy. It was both a happy but fearful time in our lives, especially as I neared the 37 week marker. But we made it and on May 4, 2011 we had a beautiful baby boy whom we named Graham Jeffrey. His name means "peaceful home" and boy did he ever bring peace into our home! He'll never replace Francesca, but he definitely filled our arms and brought joy to everyone! As I write this, he is nearing his 2nd birthday.
- I am pregnant again (!!!) with another little baby who is due May 5. Yes, this baby and Graham are exactly 2 years apart (Graham's due date was May 5, but he came May 4)! Right now I am 33 weeks along. So as it stands we have 5 living children: Arianna (9), Benjamin (8), Cassandra (6), Edmund (4), and Graham (1). We are now on the letter "H". Got a boys name picked out (Harrison), but could someone please help us with a girls name?!!! Belly bump pics to come.
- we recently got our FIRST HOUSE! We are absolutely thrilled! For 7 years we have been living with family as we paid down debt and saved up money. We've been blessed with our own living quarters: a basement apartment complete with 3 bedrooms, a bathroom, kitchen/dining area, living room, storage closet, etc. And we've had a huge yard/fields for the kids to play in. So we have not been lacking. But it's definitely a huge blessing to finally have a place of our own. We're no longer going to be living in the country, but rather we'll be city dwellers. Right now we are doing major renovations. Not exactly sure when moving day will be. House pics to come.
- still homeschooling and homebirthing.
- I'm into fitness. Having so many babies in such a short amount of time has literally forced me to embrace exercise. Come to find out, it's not so bad. Before I got pregnant, I was doing ChaLean Extreme (weight training & cardio). But now that I'm very pregnant, I've been sticking to cardio and toning. Right now I am doing Turbo Jam and Leslie Sansone's Walk Away the Pounds. I'll also do arm toning with 5lb weights and leg toning (squats, lifts, etc). Really interested to see how all this affects labor and delivery. This is my first "exercise baby".
- still very much into herbs, probably more so than I have ever been. I've been seeing an Herbalist for about a year now and she has just been phenomenal. So not only is Baby H is my first "exercise baby" but he/she is my first real "herbal baby" too. My body was pretty depleted of calcium/magnesium and trace minerals from all the pregnancies I've had. I'm also on a few other herbs for digestion and thyroid support. Between herbs and exercise, this being my 7th full term pregnancy, I FEEL GREAT! This has been my best pregnancy ever!
- still going gluten free! Since I'm posting here now, I'm thinking of re-starting up posting on my Gluten Free Blog as well. Got SO MANY good recipes! A future dream of mine is to one day open a simple GF bakery, starting off with pizza pies and fruit pies. Make it so yummy that even non-GF people will eat at my shop. I absolutely LOVE cooking!
Well, that's all for now. Glad to be back. It feels real good.
And I really hope that my posts here do help and encourage other wives and mommies out there. Even if it's just a few. This blog is for them...